I edit my photos using a HP laptop. It has a 4k 98% Adobe rgb display. While I colour calibrate my monitor using a Spyder 5 Pro, I have not been able to find a luminance setting on my monitor aside from the "brightness level" shown from 0 to 100. It does not show cd/m2. As a result, I can't get the brightness right when trying to print at a lab.
What do people suggest I do? Is the only solution getting a dedicated external photo editing monitor that has these controls or is there a work around?
The calibration software should measure luminance in a cycle while you adjust the monitor "brightness level". If the software doesn't permit it, maybe use a different software (and a different calibration device, too).
It is a process that involves several stages.
You take a reference image that is not made by you and print it.
If you like how the print looks, adjust the brightness of the screen so that it looks as close as possible to the print (from 0 to 100%).
Afterwards, it may be necessary to do some tests with an image edited by you.
If the printed images are too bright, edit the same image with low brightness in 5% intervals. (100%, 95%, 90%, 85%...)
If they are too dark, do the opposite.
In the end, you use the best combination of settings.
For example, the brightness on my screen is reduced to 50%, and the images I print require an additional brightness, compared to how they look good on the screen, of another 10% in PS.
Many years ago, I was using a monitor with the brightness reduced to only 10%!
And for good results, you must send the material in RGB mode.